


Jojo's Incel Adventure

by orphan_account



Category: The Simp and Incel Squad :flushed emoji:, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Catfishing, Discord and Snapchat + clout is canon in this fanfic, Donatello is evil, Everybody is here, Incels? next chapter <3, It's 2020 for everyone ok, Other, Rikiel also suffers at love, Simp Ungalo, The jojo timeline doesn't exist, Ungalo does drugs btw, Weed!!! WEEED!!!!, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23056171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ungalo meets a girl on Discord.That's itA short story kawaii love story <333!!!
Relationships: Higashikata Joshuu/failing relationship, Ungalo/Discord Egirl
Comments: 13
Kudos: 14





	Jojo's Incel Adventure

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how to write, I don't know how to use this website  
> Pretty much saying that I'm not a professional or even do this as a hobby please spare me if I have bad storytelling skills.
> 
> Unless..... ;)
> 
> Ungalo is sexy and I will brainwash you to believe it
> 
> enjoy now

Today we’re writing a story about Ungalo and his stupid egirl girlfriend…. First in the series for Jojo’s incel adventure…. Enjoy… 

The sexiest man alive, being Ungalo… Of course. Woke up coughing his lungs out as usual, because he smoked the previous night. Because he is a drug addict, but don’t worry that’s why he’s sexy.

After his coughing fit, he waddled into his bathroom. Staring at himself in the halfway cracked mirror with the flickery light, because he couldn’t afford much if he has to tend to his multiple addictions. Least he could do was brush his beautiful, shark-like pearly whites! Which was what he did, his breath smelt like tobacco, late-night smokes were really messing with his sleep and lungs.

It was time….

Ungalo scurried back into his room. The stench of marijuana, alcohol, cigs… Whatever, it smelt like shit almost. Surrounded the room, it didn’t help that he didn’t really clean up his room. He sat down in the only neat area he had, his gaming chair and computer set-up. He logged into his computer and quickly double-triple tapped on the discord icon on his desktop, which had some shitty hentai as the wallpaper. 

“I hope my girlfriend is on..” He said, pretty excited. He had just met her yesterday, but she was the girl of his dreams! Pretty sexy anime profile picture too… She typed pretty as well… 

At last! She was online, he quickly clicked on their dms, typing dramatically to his E-Girl. 

“Hello my princess, how are you today?” He would type, hoping that’d charm his love interest, Who knew online dating was so easy? Usually, he’d get rejected for being too sexy aha… Because the girls would look like absolute shit near this sexy being. Straight up godly motherfucker.

She was typing, he had never been so excited to get a reply from someone… Did his life finally have a purpose? 

“ i’m gud :3… how r u senpai? 🥺🥺” she would reply. God, he felt touched.

“Can we finally video chat baby girl..?” He would ask, thinking about seeing his beautiful girlfriend, He thought she would look just as beautiful as her crusty Neko girl jpeg profile picture. He got all blushy and embarrassed… His first face-to-computer-screen-but-also-face conversation with a girl other than that random prison slut he said m’lady to. Good lord was he excited!!

“Maybe rn… 🥺 owo… unless u dont want to 🥺 🥺” she texted back…

“R-Right now?!” He said in real life and not in discord dms… Right now?? God he better get his favorite purple beanie on. 

“One sec my love… We will call.” He quickly sent that response as he rushed through his messy pile of clothes near his trashcan full of Swisher Sweets™ blunt wraps. 

He picked up his favorite set of clothes, which looked exactly like all of his clothes but these were clean and didn’t smell like weed. He put them on neatly but quickly! Rushing back into his gaming area to text his girl…

“I’m back darling!-” He would type out “May we partake in a discord face-cam call now?” Eagerly waiting for her response. 

“Sure :3” She said, starting the call herself as a traditional voice call.  
“Oh boy, here we go…” Ungalo said to himself as he joined the call, he saw that the girl was on mute herself. 

“Princess… Are you okay? Can you talk?” He said as he turned on his shitty 480p resolution webcam he still had since 2012 revealing his super sexy self. 

The said E-Girl unmuted, speaking in a low yet high pitched voice, almost like a guy was imitating a girl’s voice… “Ya… I’m here..” She replied, with some snickering in the background, but it was ignored.

“What a lovely voice!” Ungalo thought!! His face was red and his heart was beating, a real conversation with a girl… Oh god… <3 <3 So in love! 

“H-Hey… what’s up… Can you turn on your camera?” He would ask, a bit hesitant to but he has big balls he can handle it.

“Wait one sec ok!” The E-Girl replied, obviously up for face-camming.

“Score!!” Ungalo would say to himself, as he waited for his love to face-cam with him!

“Okay.” She would say, as she turned on the camera… All that was seen was darkness…

“Are you on mobile love? Turn it around show your face! I bet you're pretty.” Ungalo said, encouraging his girlfriend. 

“Okay.. eheh” tha egirl said…. 

As the camera was turned around, it wasn’t a girl... It was Donatello and Rikiel, Ungalo’s half-brothers.  
“WHAT THE HELL? BRUH!” He screamed at them “EXPLAIN…” Ungalo demanded an explanation from the two.

“Um. just because,” Rikiel said, while Donatello was laughing loudly in the background. “YOU FELL FOR IT STUPID UGLY SIMP!” Donatello yelled out, breathless because of all of that laughing, it wasn’t even that funny honestly, yet he was losing his shit. “Excuse Donatello, it was his idea… Sorrrrryy..” Rikiel apologized, as he ended the call…

“Where are those bastards,” Ungalo said angrily as he slammed his gamer headset on the table. “Bruh they finna die.” He threatened as he stomped out of his drug paradise. AKA room, running downstairs to where his brothers’ rooms were. “COME OUT YOU DUMBASS MOTHERFUCKERS!!!” Slamming his fist against the door while turning the doorknob.

As the room opened, it was empty. “Huh.” He said out of confusion. “Where are those cunts?” He snarled, almost at the verge of tears. Can’t believe he fell in love with a fake!

Instead of banging the shit out of the other door he ran upstairs to his room and slammed the door.

He changed his discord name to “dead.” his status to do not disturb and his profile to a sad anime boy…

“GOD FUCK LIFE!!!!” He yelled out as he blasted Fuck Love, an epic song by XXXTentaction and Trippie Redd. 

He spammed his bro, his homie, his ride or die. Joshu. dm’s “BRO I MIGHT DIE TONIGHT…. I’M TIRED OF THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!” 

Joshu left him on read because he was busy doing “things” like simping for a pinch of Yasuho coochie

Ungalo cried on his bed tonight, he would never trust another woman ever again... Donatello secretly recorded him and posted it on his Snapchat story for clout.

Rikiel felt bad for being rude to his brother because he too. Suffered from being loveless.

Nobody except Donatello was satisfied with tonight.

Discord is a horrible app. Never use it guys!!!

To be continued when I want to

**Author's Note:**

> I told you
> 
> ok bye <3 
> 
> next chapter Joshu will masturbate on call with his homies
> 
> or will he


End file.
